Jane:
--"Friendship’s more lasting than love, and more legal than stalking."
-- "Vegetarianism for me is about saying ‘yes’ to things - even meat."
-- "Steve, I've gone to a dinner party and I'm accidently naked!"
-- "To think, when I was committing suicide, I'd very nearly given up hope!"
-- (after revealing she's being stalked) " And it's never the same man twice. Sometimes they switch over when I'm halfway home. It's SO well-organized."
-- "Well, Andrew, there is something I had better explain. God is just a made-up person. You can't expect him to be answering your prayers when he's not real, can you? That's like writing to the characters of a soap opera and expecting a reply, Mr. Silly Sausage."
-- "We're your friends. We want to know what's wrong with your handsome boyfriend."
Patrick:--"I’m thirty-three, single, with neat hair. Even I think I’m gay. "
Steve:
--"It’s not genetically possible for men to have opinions about fabric."
-- "There are three things all men should know, and it’s time you did too. You’re never going to be famous, you’re fatter than you think, and most important of all, they don’t keep wearing stockings."
-- "Your DNA must cry itself to sleep at night."
-- "When man invented fire, he didn't say, 'hey, let's cook', he said, 'great, now we can see naked bottoms in the dark.'"
-- "Lap dancing is the ultimate nightmare of man. Porn that can see you."
-- "What in the name of God's arse is pot pourri? Looks like breakfast. Smells like your auntie."
-- "Thank you, Jeff, that's quite enough. He's not here, is he? Oh dear God, I've internalized him."
Susan:
-- "We’re talking about men. They regard nose-picking as the bright side of flu."
--"I'm angry. Making sense gets in the way."
-- "Things men are capable of interpretating as offers of sex: 'Hello.' 'Oh look it's raining.' 'My boyfriend's just been kidnapped by drug smugglers.' 'Get out. '"
Sally:
-- "As Susan's best friend I am to you a bit like Australia: very distant, largely uninhabitable and with areas of great danger."
-- "A woman's breasts are a journey. Her feet are the destination."
-- "It's a relationship. We have to discuss things now, Patrick. There is a time for just taking off and enjoying yourself and that time is over. Now we have to have huge, enormous discussions first, with crying."
Jeff:
-- "To know about the giggle loop, is to become part of the giggle loop."
--"I'm always this nervous, you're just closer, you can see better"
-- "When God made the arse, he didn't say, 'Hey, it's just your basic hinge, let's knock off early.' He said, 'Behold ye angels, I have created the arse. Throughout the ages to come, men and women shall grab hold of these, and shout my name.' "
-- "No self-respecting woman would ever let a naked man in socks do the squelchy with her."
-- " Yea, still, you know what it's like. You phone someone, someone you know, or a woman, and you don't know what's going on. You're just suddenly in the middle of someone's house; anything could be happening! There could be old people, naked."
